Travels to Yellowknife - the long version

DAY 1
So began the journey from Lanark to Yellowknife. Climbed into the jeep and off I went. The first 2 hours were driven through familiar territory – my home turf. After that, came the freezing rain, sleet snow and a day of stressful driving. I made it after the first day of traveling to Sault St. Marie in what some southerners may consider to be northern Ontario. I saw one horrendous accident in which a tractor trailer wrapped itself around a diminutive minivan, and almost participated in an accident of my own when an oncoming SUV lost it in the snow and briefly visited my lane while the jeep and I paid a brief visit to Mr. Shoulder-of-the-road. I stayed in a nice waterfront hotel that night.

DAY 2
Second day I drove from the Sault to Dryden where I visited Ian, his parents, and Dawn (friends from school). Part of this drive was one I would recommend to anyone looking to understand the true beauty of Ontario. Drumlins, cuestas, mini-moiraines, winding roads, sparkling lakes, snow-bound trees, and a sunset to rival any were the sights that sped me on my way between the Sault and Wawa (a small town in the middle of northern Ontario. My friend Mat works there – no not you Mat or Mat, the other one). The rest of the drive was nothing special and I didn’t see a single moose to my disappointment (did see a bald eagle though).

My visit in Dryden was good when I finally got there after 12 hrs. Ate pizza, and talked with Ians funny father and mom. His dad brought out all his 30 year old maps to demonstrate to all where I would be traveling. This is where I was introduced to Fort McGarry Dark Ale by Ian – one of the best beers available – I recommend. Then off to drinks and a hotel for sleep.

DAY 3
Today I was wasted after 22+ hours of driving in the 2 days previous. I visited Soleil in Winnipeg, only a 4 hour drive. Arrived at about 3ish. Thought I knew where she lived so I tried to get there and when I called (lost you see) she told me not to get out of the car lest I get robbed and raped in the north ‘peg. Eventually made it to her place (not in the north) and got the grand tour of her apartment – very classy. She was as tired as me having been out partying till 4 or so the previous night. It was early to bed this evening after eating Eritrean food and having drinks yet again.

DAY 4
This morning I looked at my maps, considered my options and decided that any place called Moose Jaw couldn’t be all bad. So onwards I sped – and sped I did. After driving the twisting labyrinth roads in Ontario the straightness of prairie roads demanded I try and fly. They looked like a runway – so I obliged. Never did make it off the ground. Somewhere between Regina and Moose Jaw a cop started following me. I slowed, he passed, I followed – nothing beats a good strategy.

Arrived in Moose Jaw about 4pm and discovered where old busses go to die. I forgot my camera, but this place had busses straight out of the 60s - orange pleather seats, dirty exhaust, and stylish chrome bodies. The whole town was a modernity reject and had the bad Chinese food to prove it. My hotel was ok – it had internet.

On another note – if any truckers are reading this – tarp your load! Some jackass trucker carrying gravel launched an attack on my windshield and cracked the jeep’s 3 week old windshield with a goddamn rock – not happy.

DAY 5
Calgary! I liked this city. Showed up and found my friend Jesse’s sleek loft apartment. He was working on Sunday for TD bank making more money than I do (so he better be working Sundays). He showed me in and buggered off back to work. I spent 2 hrs on a self-directed walking tour of the city and was twice offered for sale any drug available to man by random people – I must look like a user. Jesse and I then went to dinner and drinks, and more drinks and wended our way back to his apartment for drinks and sleep.

DAY 6
Unequivocally boring driving. After a few days of prairie driving, it sucks. Today I realized that with cruise control the jeep would drive itself for 5 minutes at a time without requiring driver intervention. So I busted mad moves to my groovy tunes and drove faster than ever with nary a copper in sight nor a hand to the wheel. I drove till I couldn’t and stopped somewhere called High Prairie. It had a liquor store and a hotel – ok by me.


DAY 7
Today was nature day. Like a discovery channel documentary I was able to observe 3 fat moose eating, 1 stupid deer running (kamikaze style in front of the jeep, barely missing), a coyote and a fox. Then 8hrs hours later I crossed the NWT border and landed in Enterprise – no restaurant, no bar, nothing except some trailers, gas station and motel – boring (but I had beer .

DAY 8
I drove like the wind. I was close to the finish line, took the bit in my teeth and ran. All the way to the ferry that is. I stopped a ndwaited a half hour for the ferry to get back to my side of the Mackenzie river. Due to warmer that usual temperatures the ice bridge is not yet in use. While waiting, people in their trucks threw food for fat ravens frolicking in the snow. Drove onto the ferry and sat longer. Arrived on the other side and took off. Stopped for gas in a place called Rae-Endzo. Here at the gas station a funny converstion occurred between and a middle aged native guy and and older native woman in a crowded gas station.

Indian guy to old Indian woman “I will find you a man”
Old woman “I don’t need a man.”
Indian guy grabs my arm and says “Here’s a young one for you”
I laugh and he lets go my arm.
She says “I have everything I need at home.” At this point I pay the attendant at the counter for my gas.
While I was doing this the Indian guy says to the old lady “You have those toys?”
She says “what toys?”
He says “sex toys”
And so on…

I quickly left there and drove another hour to Yellowknife.