Northern Exposure: September 2006

Mark thinks.

MARK SAYS: "You'd think better with a drink in your hand"

Election Time!!

Its election time here in Yellowknife, I am so excited. It entails people standing in the road shoving pamphlets up your nose and other forms of gettin' the word out. The picture to the right makes me laugh just a little and also makes me think of Farva from Super Troopers due to name similarities. I dont get to vote because the minimum time of residency until you are eligible to is 1 year - shucks.

Works been busy because i have a lot of work to do, so i get to work weekends. Deadlines all fall on october 3rd so after that I will be happy.

Ive almost saved up enough to buy my island in the bahamas. I just need another bit for the gold leaf on my palace spires - and speaking of palaces check out this elf mansion I found in the bush. I bet santa cant fit his cheery, fat, red ass in that door!

I found the elves summer home! BooYah!

FALL TIME!! Its gonna snow soon i think. Cold mornings. Somewhat warm days. Here's frame lake again.

Bought something and made a special shipping request. Which made me laugh cause they reprinted it and put it on the label as instructions!

Goddamn Nut Panther!

I moved up here to the YK with the expectation of seeing some wild wildlife. Until this weekend my efforts to see a wild animal, get mauled by a bear and pecked by a murder of crows had been largely ignored. While jaunting 'round Frame Lake trail I saw a panther. It ripped across the path ahead of me and dissapeard deathly into the bush and swung murderously up a tree where it waited ready to pounce. I was petrified and confused as I hadn't in my wildest dreams considered that the Wild Canadian Wild Panther had made it this far north. I had always been told in school and found through my own independent research that a panther was a southerly animal and largely enjoyed sunning on rocks and drinking cold margaritas with those little umbrellas. Boy, was I wrong!

You see the Wild Canadian Wild Nut Panther is one of those animals that often defies gravity and expectation. It is also dangerous beyond belief - the worst thing you could do is get between it and a couple of nuts lest it tear your head off and bury it for later. This is the situation i found myself in.

So, now youre probably thinking about how brave I am and that a statue commemmorating my bravery would be a good idea (it is). And, if you were here and I was telling you about this real true factually accurate happening you might ask me: "What did you do next?" Dont worry I'll tell you.

You see I had my trusty bag of Cheetos brand crunchy cheese snack with me (I rarely go anywhere without it) and I put it into action. I cracked open that bag and launched the cheesy goodness found therein into the air. The cheese powder from these tasty orange cheese puffs temporarily blinded the beast and I took the opportunity to take the following photo evidence as proof incontrovertible of my bravery in overcoming the danger of a Wild Nut Panther. Panther and I then spent 47 hours in a staring contest which I clearly won, despite what the panther might tell you - damn its evil eye.

Peace Out!

Nut Panther - the most dangerous type. Look at that evil eye.

Yellowknife at night - its just darker...

I am still back!

Despite non-existant rumours to the contrary, I am still here in Yellowknife. I have returned to work from my vacation and can only hold my breath until the weekend arrives. Havent done much of note since being back except to have some intersting interactions with the local wildlife.

1. Crazy old native lady in a flower patterned dress dancing in a drunken traditional fashion and talking gibberish to me as I tried to walk by down by the Gold Range.
2. Outside the Gold Range building as Mark and I were trying to go in, she grabbed us both and tried to drag us to the Balck Night. After prying ourselves from her grubby grasp, we had a conversation that was absolutely nonsensical. At one point during a lull in our 1.5 minute conversation she grabbed her nipples started turning in circles and stated that "these nipples had never danced in the territories". It was at this point that I got a little too weirded out and went into the bar to listen to some of themost cliched country music ever - and boy, was it good.

Its not all parties and drunken/drugged people. There's a lot of normal and super things up here, and i shouldnt leave you with a bad impression if i have - so dont have one.

As for pictures, here are some from Greece that I got developed since the last post - nothing from up here.

Here's some news from the north LINK.

Have at 'er.